Tingle White Female
by jbwarner86
Summary: It's not easy being the big sister in charge. Fortunately, Lori Loud just discovered a strange new way to get rid of her stress - and it involves a little unknowing help from one of her siblings. It's free, it's all-natural, and it's trending on social media. But as the old saying goes, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
1. Chapter 1

_This has literally been the worst day ever._

The thought repeated endlessly in Lori's mind as she lay defeated upon the couch, staring uselessly up at the living room ceiling. Her backpack sat in a crumpled heap on the floor, one strap hanging loosely from her fingers. Her hair was a frazzled mess, but she just couldn't muster up the energy to fix it.

The day's humiliating events kept playing out in Lori's head, haunting her, almost mocking her. Her bad luck had started early that morning, in the shower, with the telltale sputter that told her she was out of her coveted cherry blossom shampoo. Then, while attempting to help her mother feed an exceptionally fussy Lily her strained carrot breakfast, Lori had ended up with orange baby burp all down her favorite sky blue tank top. The resulting harried search through her closet for a newly coordinated outfit had put her siblings' journey to school a whole two minutes behind schedule. Lori was still kicking herself especially hard for that one, considering how much she prided herself on her punctuality.

Things hadn't improved at school, as instead of uploading her meticulous and flawlessly executed locker selfie, Lori had accidentally deleted it. Then came gym class, where another sobering realization had hit - in her haste to get out the door quickly that morning and make up for the time she'd lost, Lori had left her golf clubs behind, forcing her to use one of the beat-up school clubs instead. And her particularly vigorous backswing ended up separating the club from its grip, sending it tumbling through the air and into the faculty parking lot, smashing through the rear windshield of the senior class biology teacher's car. Lori supposed she could kiss her A- average goodbye.

And then, for the disgusting cherry on top of the embarrassment sundae that today had been, the amount of stress Lori was under had done a number on her gastrointestinal system. While driving her siblings home from their respective schools, she'd accidentally let one rip, causing no end of haranguing and teasing from her grossed out younger family members. Lola in particular wouldn't let up about it the whole ride home; though Lori was sure she was exaggerating about the nose-hair-curling quality of the smell, it didn't do anything to soothe her bruised ego. (Lana had just bragged that she could do better, then proceeded to demonstrate, which helped even less.)

As she lay flopped on the couch, one leg dangling motionlessly off the cushions, Lori could feel the effects of her stress-filled day taking their physical toll. Her head throbbed. She had to consciously unclench her teeth. The knot in her stomach wouldn't untighten, no matter how many times she did her breathing exercise - in for four, hold for six, out for eight. It was no use.

She knew what she wanted - or rather, who. In this moment, she wanted Bobby there with her. Her beloved Bobby Boo-Boo Bear, whom she could hold and know that everything would be okay. She could curl up on his chest and let him stroke her hair, let the rhythm of his heartbeat soothe her, secure in the knowledge that she had someone special in her life, someone strong and dependable to comfort her in times like this…

But Bobby wasn't there. He was miles away in the big city, probably just getting in for his after-school shift at the bodega. Instead of Lori, he'd be holding cases of kidney beans and artichoke hearts all afternoon. And so it would be for at least another nine months, another nine long agonizing months of waiting to see her boyfriend in person again...

The knot in Lori's stomach seemed to double. She could feel her heart hammering against her ribcage. The itchy heat built in her eyes.

 _No,_ she thought desperately. _Not a panic attack, not now, not in the open like this. You're supposed to be the rock, remember? You can't let them see you be weak…_

Instinctively, she covered her face with her hands, closed her burning eyes, and redoubled her efforts to control her breathing. This was the worst she'd let herself get in a while. Wasn't there _anything_ she could do to stop the dam from bursting?

The sound of approaching footsteps did nothing to quell Lori's anxiety. Which one of her family members was going to see her losing control like this?

"Hey Lori, you took Economics last year, right? I don't get this thing in my homework about bull markets. Is it like a farm?"

Lori sighed, her face still covered. Leave it to Leni to completely miss the point as usual.

But when Leni spoke again, her voice was softer, more sympathetic. "Whoa, are you okay? You look, like, really wigged out. Or are you just playing hide-and-seek? 'Cause I could play with you, if you want! I'm, like, totes great at that game!"

Lori groaned. "I'm not playing, Leni," she said, her voice muffled by her hands. "I just had a really awful day. I literally feel like I got run over by a train."

Leni gasped. "Oh no! Shouldn't we, like, take you to a hospital or something?"

"I wasn't _really_ hit by a train, Leni," Lori growled as the pain in her head increased. "It was hyperbole."

Leni clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "Well, if you've got a hyper bully pushing you around at school, then you seriously need to tell our principal or somebody!"

This was the last thing Lori needed right now.

" _Please,_ Leni," she hissed, "I just want to de-stress…"

"Oh, don't worry, I totally understand," Leni chirped. "I have bad days at school sometimes too, y'know. And you know what, like, always cheers me up whenever that happens? When my friends tell me about _their_ day! Y'know, it helps to put my day in prospective or whatever it's called."

A low moan escaped Lori's muffled lips. She knew just where this was headed.

"Don't worry," Leni continued, "I think you'll like this when you hear it, it's like totes adorbs. Okay, so y'know how I, like, baked those cookies for Chaz because that article in Mojito said that guys like girls who have some sort of skill? Well, I gave 'em to him at his locker this morning and I think he totally loved them! I mean, I know they tasted a little weird because I couldn't find the baking soda and I had to use Diet Mr. Fibb instead, but Chaz, like, totally didn't seem to mind…"

After everything that had happened today, Lori had no energy left to fight. She just slumped into the cushions with her hands still pressed against her face, giving in to her sister's pointless ramblings.

But as Lori lost the will to argue, she began to listen. And she noticed something strange.

Leni's story actually was making her feel more relaxed. Not the inane subject matter, obviously, but the way she was telling it. Something about her younger sibling's voice seemed to put Lori at ease, something she never would've noticed if she hadn't been blocking out all visual stimuli.

The bouncy energy that Leni had, combined with the merry flintiness of her voice, seemed to trigger something very soothing in Lori's mind. Especially when Leni would suddenly squeak in excitement or drop down to a lower octave to share some bit of information she found particularly interesting. Her words developed a rubber band stretchiness to them that Lori had never taken notice of before - a combination of pleasing sounds that distracted her from everything on her mind.

And to her surprise, Lori noticed her headache was diminishing by the second. In its place was a thoroughly relaxing tingling sensation that started at the top of her scalp and seemed to dance all the way down the back of her neck. She tuned in more closely to Leni's words - not the story, just the words, and the way they sounded as they bounced out of her sister's mouth - and the tingling suddenly doubled in intensity.

She let out a small contented sigh as the knot in her stomach untwisted, and she let her hands drop from her face. She had no idea what to make of this bizarre sensory experience, but all she knew was that she felt more relaxed now than she had all day, and that was what mattered.

"...And it turns out they were right on top of my head the whole time!" Leni giggled. "Isn't that cray-cray?" She sighed, leaning against the back of the couch. "So you see? Didn't that make you feel better, Lori?"

Lori let her eyes softly flutter open. She looked up at her sister's beaming face.

"Actually, yeah," she said slowly. "It literally did. Thanks, Leni."

"Hey, as the French say, no problemo!" Leni said, bouncing blissfully on the balls of her feet. Then she furrowed her brow in confusion. "Now, what did I come down here for? ...Oh well, it couldn't have been that important. See ya, big sis!"

And with that, she bounded off towards the kitchen.

Lori sat up and rubbed her forehead. A trace of the odd tingly feeling was still lingering at the back of her head, accentuated slightly every time she thought about Leni's story. What on earth _was_ that? It felt as if someone had played a symphony on her nerve endings. Was that even normal? Was the human body supposed to do that?

There were those anxious thoughts again. Lori tried to shake them off. _Does it matter if that was normal?_ she thought. _I mean, it made you feel better, right?_

But now she was feeling bad about feeling better. Of course.

More footsteps, smaller this time. Lori glanced over to see Lisa had just descended the stairs.

"Pardon me, older sibling," lisped Lisa, "but I was wondering if I may bother you to inquire about the location of the remote control. There's a fascinating documentary about string theory being broadcast on public television this afternoon and I do not wish to deprive myself of it."

Lori fished the remote out from between the couch cushions and tossed it to Lisa. "Oh yeah, sure," she mumbled. "Here ya go."

Lisa whipped a can of disinfectant spray out of seemingly nowhere and covered the remote in a cloud of it. "My deepest thanks," she said, powering up the cable box.

As the screen blinked to life, Lori realized that this was just what she needed. Surely if anyone in the family knew everything there was to know about the workings of the human body, it was the one with the most Nobel Prizes on her shelf.

"Hey, Lisa?" Lori began. "This is probably gonna sound so weird, but I have a medical question."

Lisa pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Feel free to ask me, Lori. I do believe I possess some degree of expertise in that field."

Lori rubbed the back of her neck, trying to think of a way to say this that wouldn't sound insane.

"Well, um...let me ask you this. Is it normal for your scalp to feel tingly?"

Lisa arched an eyebrow. "I suppose it would depend upon the circumstances."

"Well, let's say somebody was talking to you," Lori continued, "and the sound of their voice was really soothing and relaxing." Then she hastily added "Um, I'm asking for a friend."

To Lori's surprise, Lisa let out a small chuckle.

"Lori, I believe what you're describing is a recently documented perceptual phenomenon called autonomous sensory meridian response."

Lori blinked.

"Street name, ASMR," Lisa clarified.

"I have literally never even heard of that," Lori said. "It's not...dangerous, is it?"

"Not in the slightest," Lisa continued. "It is merely a subjective experience of low-grade euphoria, often triggered by specific audio or visual stimuli and characterized by a combination of positive feelings and a light pleasant tingling sensation in the epidermal layer."

She adjusted her glasses again. "You'll forgive me if I am hesitant to believe your claim to be 'asking for a friend'. I take it you have recently experienced this phenomenon for yourself?"

Lori bit her lip sheepishly. "Yeah, kinda…"

"Well, it's nothing to be alarmed or embarassed about at all," Lisa insisted. "Many, many people experience autonomous sensory meridian response to varying degrees. I myself often encounter it while listening to the Baroquial finale of Mozart's _Symphony No. 41_. It is a chillingly impressive work of musical craftsmanship, if I do say so myself. Far more mentally stimulating than the cacophonous three-chord monotony I usually hear drifting out of Lincoln's room, at least."

The pit in Lori's stomach vanished again. So this _wasn't_ weird, it _didn't_ make her a freak…

"In fact, many people find the experience to be an effective stress reliever or sleep aid," Lisa added, clearly on a roll. "I understand there is a popular community of like-minded people on social media and streaming video sites dedicated to sharing this experience with each other."

Lori's eyebrows practically disappeared into her bangs. "Social media community, huh?" she said, as an anticipatory grin spread across her face.

"Yes," said Lisa, "it is a small relief to know that not all young people see the Internet as a mere conduit for cat videos and nonsensical captioned photographs, street name, 'memes'. Now if you please, my program is about to begin."

As Lisa sat engrossed in her documentary, Lori was already nose-deep in her phone, searching for more information. If there was anything - _anything_ \- on social media that would help her control the stress in her life, she was literally all for it.


	2. Chapter 2

The remainder of Lori's day was typically nerve-wracking. She'd had to stomp across the hall in the middle of typing her English essay to get Luna to turn her amp down from 11 so she could focus. She'd needed to accompany her parents into the kitchen in the middle of dinner to break up a food fight at the kids' table, as Lola and Lana had weaponized their spoons into impromptu turkeyloaf catapults. And she practically had to pry the video game controller out of Lincoln's hands so she wouldn't miss the midseason finale of "The Dream Boat".

But in spite of her frazzled state of mind, Lori tried her best to keep her cool. Because at least now she had her new relaxation method to look forward to.

Lisa's wealth of knowledge about ASMR had led Lori to the surprisingly diverse online community centered around the phenomenon. Those who created content based around it called themselves ASMRtists, which sounded an awful lot like the sort of dumb pun Luan might've come up with on an off-day. But the truly impressive thing was how busy these people were.

Lori had been somewhat overwhelmed at first. There had to be over a hundred streaming video channels dedicated to this, with entire playlists devoted to different triggers - soft whispering, tapping noises, wrapping paper crinkling, you name it. Even something as seemingly innocuous as watching someone daintily move their hands around for 20 minutes was enough to set some people's scalps a-tingling, apparently.

 _Big deal,_ Lori thought with a chuckle. _If I wanna watch someone wave their hands like a sideshow weirdo, I'd have Lucy tell my fortune again._

As the Loud family retired to bed that evening, Lori had everything planned out. Sifting through the hundreds of ASMR videos available, she'd found one that looked like it'd be right up her alley - a roleplay video in which the ASMRtist played the part of a nail salon employee, providing a full manicure to the viewer. It'd be the perfect fantasy to fall asleep to. Real life trips to the nail salon always soothed Lori's jangled nerves, so surely a virtual one would work just as well, right?

Finally, at 10:00, after her nightly good-night-I-love-you texts with Bobby (slightly extended when they fell into the "you sign off first"/"no, you sign off first" routine), Lori turned out her light and rolled over into bed. "Good night, Leni," she sighed.

Leni pulled up her own covers and lowered her sleeping mask. "Night, Lori!" she squeaked. "Hope you have a better day tomorrow. If you want, I'll tell that bully of yours to leave you alone."

Lori almost corrected her sister, then thought better of it. As Leni snuggled under her comforter, Lori pulled her own sheets up to her chin, then opened the Internet browser on her phone. Queuing up the nail salon video, she popped in her earbuds and laid back, getting ready to relax.

"Oh, hello, sweetie!" said the boy in the video, in a voice barely above a whisper. He stood in front of what was obviously a green screened backdrop of a real nail salon. "Such a pleasure to see you again! Will we be doing the usual?" He fluttered his fingers directly into the microphone. Lori shuddered a bit; it sounded like his hands were right next to her ears.

 _Okay, cool your jets there, buddy,_ she thought. _Personal space, y'know?_

She laid back and let herself sink into the mattress. The boy's voice was low and husky, and kind of hard to hear at times. "Let's start by giving your nails a quick buff, shall we?" he whispered.

Lori squinted through the darkness at the screen. The boy had a nail file in one hand, and kept tapping it gently with the other. "This one's your favorite, right? I know, I remember from the last time you were here. Y'know, you're one of my favorite customers, honey."

 _I've never watched your channel before, genius,_ Lori thought, rolling her eyes. Then she realized she wasn't focusing. The tingling sensation she'd felt on the couch had yet to reoccur. She closed her eyes and tried to zero in just on the sound of the boy's voice.

"This is a very delicate nail file," he hushed, still tapping right into the microphone. "Y'know, my grandma gave it to me." Tap tap tap. "She's such a nice old lady, you'd love to meet her, I bet." Tap tap tap. "Maybe one of these days you'll see her in here." Tap tap tap…

Lori's fists clenched involuntarily. " _WILL YOU LITERALLY JUST SHUT UP AND BUFF MY STUPID NAILS ALREADY, YOU JERK?"_

Her eyes snapped open as she slapped a hand over her mouth. Blushing deep crimson, she sat up and glanced at Leni's bed through the semidarkness.

Leni just mumbled a bit in her sleep. "Mmh, you heard the woman, Hazel, be a good zebra and buff her nails...zz…"

With a sigh, Lori stopped the video. "Dang it," she whispered. "Why isn't this working?" Soft talking was supposed to be an extremely common ASMR trigger, from what she'd gathered, and it worked fine for her on the couch that afternoon. What was missing?

 _It's 'cause of this stupid roleplay,_ she decided. _It doesn't feel real! The people at the nail salon actually DO their jobs, and they never stick their fingers in my ears like freaks either._

Frustrated, Lori rolled over and glanced at Leni's bed again. Leni was still sound asleep, a blissfully ignorant smile on her face. Flashing back to the aimless story she'd told a few hours ago, Lori felt a hint of a tingle at the base of her neck.

 _Leni's voice,_ Lori thought. _That perky cheerful bounciness. That's what I need!_

But she wasn't about to wake Leni up just so she could talk her to sleep. That'd be stupid.

And then she remembered the podcast.

A couple of months ago, Lincoln had come up with the idea for the Loud kids to host an Internet podcast. They each took turns hosting their own unique episode - Lori herself had just done one not too long ago, with Bobby as a special guest via phone, gushing about their first romantic date together. And Leni had hosted an episode too, taking the listening audience on a virtual tour of the Royal Woods Mall.

With a quick swipe, Lori brought up her podcast app. There it was at the top of her bookmarks: " _Listen Out Loud"_. And there was Leni's episode, fourth from the top. She pressed play.

"Hello?" Leni's voice met Lori's ears. "Hello? Hello?! Lincoln, how do you turn this thing on?"

Lori laid back on her pillow again, closing her eyes and folding her hands across her stomach. _If this doesn't work, I am literally out of ideas._

"How do I look?"

"Leni, it's a podcast," said Lincoln's voice. "No one can see you."

"Then why did I spend $70 on a new outfit? ...Oh well, never mind."

Lori's muscles de-tensed instinctively at the familiar sound of her sister's voice. She could almost picture the scene on the back of her eyelids, Leni traipsing merrily through the mall with Lincoln and his recorder tailing behind. The excitement in Leni's voice was palpable as she narrated the scene. Lori kind of envied that sometimes, how Leni could get so passionate about the simple things in life.

Podcast Leni stepped into the nail salon. "I once saw Patchy Drizzle getting a mani-pedi in here," she said in a hushed tone, probably so as not to disturb the salon employees. "He's our local weatherman. And a _huge_ celebrity. But real talk? His toenails were _super_ flakey. Probably because he's always wearing mandals."

Lori would've been grossed out to the point of gagging - if she hadn't remembered to listen just to the sound of Leni's voice, not the subject matter. The way each letter sound played off each other, the enthusiastic bounce of each syllable, hovering up before stretching way down...Lori didn't understand the science behind it, nor did she particularly care, but everything about Leni's voice triggered something in the relaxation center of her brain. The top of her head began to tingle, and she felt every muscle go limp as she let the sensation spread down to her neck and shoulders. It was like the entire day's stresses just got washed away.

Podcast Leni went to the shoe store next, then the pet store, extolling the virtues of each business as she went. By the time they reached the department store at the end of the mall, Lori was out like a light.

* * *

Lori awoke the next morning to a face full of sunshine through the window. She stretched and smiled contentedly. That was the best night's sleep she'd had in weeks! No tossing, no turning, no lying awake for hours running through the next day's itinerary in her mind - just peaceful relaxing sleep.

She leapt off the mattress to her feet, ready to face whatever obstacles the day threw at her.

The first of which turned out to be her smartphone, swinging up and whacking her in the face by way of the earbuds that were still stuck in her ears.

Thereafter, it didn't take long for Lori's stress to start piling up again. There was the fact that she was still out of shampoo, which meant she had to settle for using Lola's bubblegum-scented glitter shampoo instead - she was still picking sparklies out of her hair during breakfast. This time, it was Lynn who almost held up the ride to school, tearing the laundry hamper apart looking for her lucky jockstrap, which she insisted she couldn't have after-school field hockey practice without. And on top of that, Lori discovered that her eight-page essay on what patriotism means to her would not be representing Royal Woods High School at the tri-city Memorial Day festival that year - but Carol Pingrey's, on the other hand, would be.

Lori was used to these kinds of setbacks by now. Despite her best efforts and her strongest desires, she knew she just couldn't maintain control over every single aspect of her life. She had her usual methods of coping - her deep breathing exercises, her one-minute meditations in front of the girls' room mirror, and of course her favorite low-cal bean chips, which now came in a flavor loaded with stress-reducing passionflower.

But she was forgoing all of that today. Why bother breathing funny to calm down when ASMR clearly did the job so much faster and more efficiently?

The ride home was the typical wall of noise. Between Luna using every available solid surface in Vanzilla as an instrument on which to practice her latest drum solo, and Luan trying to tell Leni her newest joke but laughing so hard that she couldn't even get the punchline out, Lori was struggling to keep her mind steady. And that was _before_ they got to the elementary school - according to Lincoln, Lola and Lana had been arguing since lunch over which one of them would get the extra pudding cup that Mom accidentally put in one of their lunch bags that morning, and they were no closer to resolving it than they were three hours ago.

"Come on, Lola! You don't even _like_ butterscotch!"

"Yuh-huh! I do so! Don't even pretend like you know me!"

"Yeah, well, if you eat this, you're gonna get fat! And then you won't fit in your stupid dresses anymore!"

"Oh yeah? Well, if _YOU_ eat it, you're also gonna be eating my _FIST!_ And then your _TEETH_ won't fit in your stupid _MOUTH_ anymore!"

" _Bring it on, Little Miss Limp-Arms!"_

The sounds of slaps and screeches mixed with the drone of Lucy reciting her latest poem, the beeps of Lincoln's handheld video game, and Lisa rattling off her usual list of every disaster that could befall them on the ride home. ("We could drive over a broken bottle and suffer a blowout, the transmission could drop out of the undercarriage, a carbon monoxide leak could slowly suffocate us all…")

Lori clenched the steering wheel so hard, it could've snapped. Her scalp itched from sweat. Her breathing grew shorter, more intense…

She knew what she had to do.

A sharp two-fingered whistle shot through the noise. "HEY! COOL IT BACK THERE!"

Everyone clammed up immediately. Lola and Lana froze in mid-fight, the coveted pudding trapped in both their clutches.

Lori brushed her frazzled bangs out of her eyes. "As I was saying...go ahead, Leni, tell me all about what happened to you today."

In the front passenger seat, Leni blinked and scratched her head. "Wait, what?" she asked.

"You know," Lori pushed, forcing a smile onto her face, "you were going to tell me all about the exciting _thing_ that happened to you this morning. Don't you _remember?_ "

Leni grinned. "Oh, right! The exciting thing! You mean at the vending machine outside the cafeteria?"

"Yeah, sure," Lori said. "I'm sure everyone will _literally_ give you complete and total silence while you tell me, _won't they, guys?_ "

No one in the back seats objected.

Leni twiddled her hair with one finger. "Okay, so get this," she began eagerly. "So, like, I was between second and third period, right? And I was, like, totally _craving_ something with caffeine in it, because I thought I grabbed the instant coffee crystals out of the cabinet this morning but it turned out to be cupcake sprinkles, so I was crashing, like, _super_ hard, y'know?"

As Lori drove, she let Leni's words wash over her. The tingles returned, loosening her posture and relaxing every muscle.

Okay, yes, she'd kind of deceived her sister to do it, but it was either this or risk crashing the van out of stress, right? Clearly, this was the better alternative. No one could argue with that.

 _I hope this doesn't count as distracted driving_ , she thought blissfully as the tingles cascaded down to her shoulders. _There's no way this should be illegal._

* * *

That night, it was more of the same. As Leni snoozed in the dark, Lori queued up the same podcast episode as last night and plugged in her earbuds for another comforting evening of tingly, stress-free sleep.

"Here's the music store!" said Podcast Leni. "Perfect for Luna's presents! This is the princess store, _great_ for Lola presents…"

Lori could feel herself drifting off already. It was so nice to not have anything to worry about, to have all that stress just slough off like dirt after a hot shower. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this comfortable with herself.

And as long as she had Leni's perky little voice in her ear as a perfect ASMR trigger, nothing could possibly ruin her nightly de-stressing ritual.

...Right?


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey! Who finished off the Zombie Bran? And put the _empty_ box back in the cabinet?!"

Lincoln whirled around, clutching the empty cereal box and eyeing his sisters suspiciously. Nobody else even looked up from their breakfast.

"Don't look at me, Linc," said Lynn through a mouthful of frosted flakes. "You know I don't touch that junk. No riboflavin in it."

"Wasn't me either, brah," piped up Luna from behind her coffee mug. "I would rather starve than eat your bread."

Lana turned away, covering her bowl with both arms.

"Come on, Lana, give it up!" Lincoln insisted. "Mom bought those for me!"

"Yeah, well, I wanted the glow-in-the-dark tarantula inside!" Lana shot back, spraying crumbs in her brother's face. "And I got here first! Not my fault you were late comin' down for breakfast!"

"It wasn't my fault either!" Lincoln retorted. "Lucy was hoggin' up the bathroom!"

Lucy stood at the counter, pouring a dark red liquid from a plastic tub into several smaller jars. "Sigh," she muttered. "You should know by now that mixing a sink full of fake blood requires a certain degree of time and skill."

Lincoln grabbed the cereal bowl. "Lana, I'm puttin' the big brother foot down! Give it here!"

Lana refused to let go, spilling milk and cereal bits on the floor. "Get over it, Linc! You snost, and you lost!"

Lori slammed the refrigerator door shut, her eye twitching uncontrollably. The jar of baby food in her hand rattled dangerously. One more second of this nonsense and she was liable to break something. Possibly a bone if she wasn't careful.

"Lana, don't be a brat!" Lincoln shouted, keeping an iron grip on the bowl. "I don't ask for much, I just want my Zombie Bran in the morning!"

Lana grinned mischievously through a mouthful of cereal. "You want Zombie Bran? No problem, Linc - here ya go!"

And she spat the half-chewed cereal back into the bowl with a sickening _plop_.

"Aw, BARF!" Lincoln yelped, letting go in revulsion. Lana tumbled backwards, and the bowl went flying - landing with a splatter right on Lola's head. Lily in her high chair burst out laughing.

" _EEEEEK!_ " Lola screeched. " _You got milk in my hair, you clods!_ And you ruined my favorite fairy princess pajamas!"

Luan looked up from her eggs. "Looks more like they're _dairy_ princess pajamas now! Hahahahaha! Get it?"

The kitchen erupted in a cacophony of voices yammering on top of each other. Lori grabbed her hair, her teeth clenched in agony. The screaming and the fighting was bad enough, but the puns were the sick icing on the temper-shortening cake.

" _THAT'S IT! EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR STUPID BREAKFAST! WHAT THE HECK DOES IT TAKE TO GET YOU MONSTERS TO BEHAVE LIKE HUMAN BEINGS?!"_

Deafening silence fell over the room, save for the drip-drip of milk running down Lola's back and the raspy heaves of Lori's stressed-out breathing.

"...Sorry, Lori," Lincoln said quietly. He slunk back against the kitchen cabinets apprehensively as Lori stomped to the kitchen table and practically slammed Lily's baby food jar down in front of her high chair. Her face was flushed with fury, pink and scowling.

Every sibling knew something was up. Lori could be bossy, for sure, but she almost never got this angry. Not unless something was really seriously wrong.

And Lori knew it too. Her eyes stung as she forced spoonfuls of strained bananas into Lily's mouth. She'd just called her siblings "monsters". Of course she hadn't meant it - it was just the stress! And she just needed to calm down, the best way she knew how.

The _only_ way she knew how...

Leni bounded into the kitchen, still clad in her bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her head. At her side was Lisa, intently cleaning her glasses. "Good _morning_ , everyone!" Leni beamed, thoroughly oblivious to the awkward air in the room.

Lori dropped Lily's spoon and gasped. " _Leni!_ " she shouted, a pained smile suddenly illuminating her face. "There you are, at long last! Sit down, have breakfast already! We've literally all been waiting for you!"

Leni took a seat next to Lori. "Really? Is there some special occasion?" Then it was her turn to gasp. "Is it my birthday?! Did I forget again?"

Lori chuckled, a forced unnatural laugh. "No, silly, we just enjoy your company, that's all! You're our sister and we love to have you around!" Her eye twitched again. "Hey, listen, you slept pretty soundly last night, didn't you? You must've had a pretty cool dream, right?"

"Yeah, I did!" Leni said. "It was the one with all the koala bears again."

"Well, why don't you tell us about it?" Lori egged on. "I'd love to hear the details, and I know everyone else would too."

A low chorus of groans reverberated around the kitchen. Lori distinctly heard Lynn mumble "Ugh, bo-ring…"

Leni remained oblivious. "Okay, so, like, it started where I was like walking through the halls at school, right? Only I _totally_ knew something was up, because when I got to Erica's locker, she turned around and it wasn't Erica, it was Blarney the Dinosaur…"

Lori sat back and let the tingles wash her stress away. "Oh yeah," she sighed through a relieved smile, "that sure sounds interesting, all right…"

Lisa leaned against the doorframe, squinting suspiciously at the scene before her.

* * *

It had happened before. It was happening again.

Lori knew the feeling - heck, she dreaded it. That downward spiral that was almost impossible to pull back out of. When the stress and anxiety builds up so much that thinking about it only makes you more stressed and more anxious. And you _can't_ stop thinking about it, because it won't let you.

The ride to school had been stony awkward silence. None of the Loud siblings had dared to speak, lest they inadvertently provoke Lori's ire again. Lori wanted nothing more than to apologize for her outburst...but the irrational fears swirling around in her mind were screeching one contrary put-down after another into her subconscious. _You blew it, you loser. You always blow it. Some authority figure you are…_

Only Leni had anything to say, commenting on exceptionally pretty trees or the fashions worn by pedestrians on the street, still wholly unaware of the self-destructive tempest raging in her older sister's mind. Lori tried to draw some level of relaxation out of the sound of Leni's voice, but the guilt over her breakfast table explosion kept hijacking her focus. That, and keeping her eyes on the road.

School was a staggering ordeal that day. Lori was no stranger to stress, but on days this overwhelming, _everything_ seemed to set her off. She found herself snarling at freshmen just for getting to the drinking fountain before she did. That old familiar knot returned in her stomach, twisting and churning every time she caught herself being exceptionally snippy with someone.

 _This can't keep up all day,_ she thought, in the middle of her fourth period History lecture. _I need to chill out before this literally kills me._

She looked around. Most of her classmates were slowly slipping into a disinterested stupor.

Did she dare try to sneak an ASMR session? Here, without anyone noticing?

She had to. It was all she had left. Leni wasn't around, and she needed that voice in her ear right now, somehow.

Under her desk, Lori plugged her earbuds into her phone. With one thumb, she brought up her podcast app again. She had Leni's Listen Out Loud episode bookmarked now.

Discreetly, under the guise of simply brushing her bangs out of her eyes, she popped her earbuds in and pushed play.

"Hello? Hello? Hello?! Lincoln, how do you turn this thing on?"

Lori's leg jiggled nervously. _Come on, hurry up and relax me already…_

Podcast Leni rambled about the mall some more. Lori closed her eyes, trying to focus. A slight tingle, at the back of her neck, almost imperceptible…

"Are we sufficiently entertained, Miss Loud?"

Lori actually shrieked. Mr. Sullivan was inches away from her face. She could feel every judgmental eye in the class on her.

"Just couldn't wait to get home to jam to your sick beats, could you?" growled Mr. Sullivan. He whipped out a small yellow pad and began scribbling. "Well, I'm sure you'll have all the time you need in _detention_ this afternoon, sweetheart."

Lori's chest tightened at the sight of the detention slip on her desk. Leni's voice still bounced around her ears - but any tingles it would've wrought were smothered by the horrible sick heat searing at the back of Lori's head.

* * *

Vanzilla shuddered to a stop in the driveway. Lori practically stumbled out, haggard and weary.

Detention had kept her an hour late. An entire agonizing hour in which she sat in her own misery, copying from the dictionary and trying harder than ever to put a rein on her mile-a-minute brain. Which of course meant that she was unable to drive any of her siblings home from school.

She slowly creaked the front door open. All her siblings minus Lily were seated in the living room, most of them with their homework spread out in front of them. No one had shoes on. Several steely glares met Lori's eyes as she entered.

"Oh hey, _there_ she is!" Lana snapped. "Thanks for the ride home, Lori! Y'know, the one that didn't exist?"

"It's improper for a princess to walk all that distance, you realize!" Lola barked. "What am I, a _commoner?!_ Blech!"

Lynn slammed her textbook shut. "A little heads up would be nice next time, by the way! I had to lug my gym bag home by hand - serious finger cramps! If this screws up baseball practice for me, I'm tellin' Coach it's your fault!"

Luna gingerly massaged her calves. "Well, we can't really blame Lori, can we, dudes?" she scoffed. "I mean, if you were her, would you wanna drive home a bunch of _monsters_ like us?"

There was that heat again, swelling up beneath Lori's eyes. She forced herself up the stairs without a word.

She caught a trace of Leni's voice. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Luna! Just because your feet stink, it doesn't mean you're a monster!"

"That's from walking three miles home, Leni," Luna shot back.

"There, that's the spirit!" Leni chirped.

At the top of the stairs, Lori found her parents, both looking stern. Rita gently bounced a sleeping Lily in her arms.

Lynn Sr. squinted disapprovingly. "So how was detention, Little Miss Can't-Stay-Off-Her-Phone-For-Five-Seconds?"

"I thought we agreed, no using your cell phone in class unless it's an emergency!" Rita huffed. "In case you need a reminder, listening to music does _not_ constitute an emergency, young lady!"

Lori wanted to cry. She wanted so, so badly to cry. Maybe it would've earned her the sympathy she wanted, given her an opportunity to explain herself…

But tears weren't coming. Instead, her head started swimming, and the knot in her stomach lurched all the way up to her throat.

"...I don't wanna talk about this right now," she said flatly. "I have to, um...vacuum my shirts."

And before her parents could wheedle any further, she darted into her room and locked the door.

Collapsing on her bed, Lori wrapped her trembling arms around herself. Sweat was starting to soak her skin. She felt like she was going to throw up at any second. Which was unfortunate, because her legs were too shaky to support her down the hall to the bathroom right now.

She'd failed her whole family. She'd inconvenienced everybody's afternoon. It wasn't supposed to be like this! She was supposed to be the authority figure, the one who took charge and conquered everything! Why did it have to be so hard all of a sudden?

Lori clamped her eyelids shut, breathing as slowly as her body would allow, and tried to forget everything about where she was.

" _Kids?! Which one of you tracked Charles' dog doo through the kitchen?!"_

So much for that.


	4. Chapter 4

"Honey? You've barely touched your goulash. Is something wrong?"

Lori looked up from her plate. Her parents were eyeing her concernedly.

She coughed. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Just, um...got a lot of homework to get done tonight, that's all."

Rita and Lynn Sr. seemed to accept that. Lori's sisters, on the other hand, saw right through it.

"I've never seen you get this bummed out over a lot of homework before, Lori," said Luan, trying to read her sister's hangdog expression. "You're not still hung up on getting detention, are you?"

"Yeah, it's not that big a deal," Lynn added. "I get detention all the time. It's so bogus that there's gotta be rules about not playing hockey in the halls…"

Lori didn't answer. She just forced another forkful of goulash into her mouth, despite her lack of appetite.

Luna blinked, picking up her milk glass. "Is it 'cuz I snapped at ya before? I'm sorry, dude, I was just kinda grouchy and exhausted. You know how it is - in my shoes, walking sleep…"

She took a sip. "But you gotta admit, the 'monster' remark was kinda over the top."

A sharp jolt shot through Lori's chest, like someone had just stabbed her in the sternum.

"What's she talking about?" Lynn Sr. asked. "Lori, I feel like there's something you're not telling us…"

Lori hastily got to her feet, scraping her chair. "May I please be excused?" she gulped.

She darted out of the living room and up the stairs before even waiting for an answer.

Rita put a hand to her mouth. "Oh dear," she muttered. "Teenager troubles, for sure. I wish she'd be more open with us about these things…"

"Tell me about it," Lynn Sr. said. "Trying to get Lori to open up about her problems is like pulling teeth."

Leni swallowed her mouthful of goulash. "Oh, then Mom should just have Dr. Feinstein talk to her! I mean, _duh_ , right?"

The slaps of five simultaneous facepalms echoed off the dining room walls.

* * *

Lori didn't leave her room for the rest of the night. She tried reading her fashion magazines, but it only reminded her of how she'd never look as good as those models. She texted Bobby once she knew he was off work, but she couldn't bring herself to burden him with her problems...and thinking about him, seeing his words on the screen, only made her pine for his presence even more.

Eventually, Leni came in to work at the sewing machine on her latest project, jazzing up a poncho she'd gotten for cheap at the used clothing store. As she rummaged through her basket for pins, she took notice of Lori's defeated posture.

"Hey, Lori?" she began softly. "You had another rough day at school today, didn't you?"

Lori shifted uncomfortably. "It wasn't great," she mumbled.

Leni offered a hopeful grin. "You want me to tell you about my day? Maybe make you feel better, like last time?"

Lori closed her eyes. "Yes, Leni, I would literally love that right now."

Swinging around in her chair, Leni beamed at her sister. "Oh, cool! Okay, so get a load of this - I am, like, _so_ proud of myself for how brave I was today! So, like, I was in the girls' room between fifth and sixth period, right, and it was the one on the first floor with the creaky window that never shuts, okay? So, like, I look up right in the middle of fixing my blush - and there's a _spider_ right there over the mirror! O-M-Gosh, I almost freaked out, right? But then…"

Lori leaned back, ignoring the story, trying to focus on the sounds. It wasn't easy this time - being alone with her thoughts all evening had left her mind heavy with doubt and fear. But gradually, she felt it, the slightest hint of a tingle. Pushing the dark thoughts back, she did her best to focus on the positive, the relaxing state of semi-euphoria she'd been craving…

"...And there it was, flat on the bottom of my shoe!" Leni crowed. "And I went 'Ha! How do you like that, you six-legged creep?'" She giggled a bit at her own story. "Oh, I gotta tell you, Lori, I'm like super jazzed about how much time you and I have spent together this week."

Lori snapped out of her reverie. "Huh? What?"

"Y'know, how cool you are with us sharing our thoughts 'n stuff with each other," Leni explained. "I mean, not everyone likes to listen to me - I don't know if you've heard, but most people think I'm kind of a ditz with nothing interesting to say. But not you! I like that we can spend this kind of quality time together as sisters, y'know? It's really really sweet of you, so from the top of my heart, Lori - thank you!"

The tingles vaporized. The guilt came roaring back in an instant. _Aha,_ Lori thought bitterly as her stomach turned over. _There it is._

"So listen," Leni continued, "how about your day? I could tell you were a little loopy at dinner. You wanna tell me about it?"

Lori rolled over and threw herself back into her fashion magazine, trying her best to ignore the squeezing pain in her head. "Maybe later, Leni."

Leni's smile faltered and vanished.

* * *

Lori didn't dare look at her clock. She knew it had to be well past midnight by now.

While Leni lay sleeping comfortably, Lori was huddled in the fetal position, shivering and panting, her bloodshot eyes staring aimlessly into the darkness. Her thumb twitched spastically around the seek bar of her podcast app, as random snippets of Leni's voice bounced out of her earbuds into her frazzled brain.

"-the princess store, _great_ for Lola prese-once saw Patchy Drizzle getting a mani-pedi in he-n't you just feel better about life the moment you walk in here? _Sigh_ …"

No. No, Lori absolutely did _not_ feel better about her life. This is what she had been reduced to, lying awake for god knows how long on a school night, with a bowling ball-sized pit in her stomach and an insatiable jones for that stupid tingly feeling, the only reliable way to relax anymore…

But it wasn't reliable. Lori had been desperately listening to the same podcast episode over and over for two hours. She had the whole thing memorized at this point. And the tingles were long gone.

 _I killed it,_ she thought, her eyes aching from lack of sleep. _I literally killed it._

She could've slapped herself. Once again, she'd ruined her only chance at happiness. Why did she have to keep doing that to herself? Couldn't she ever learn to just leave well enough alone?

Jackknifing up to a sitting position, Lori ripped her earbuds out and threw off her covers. She needed to calm down and she needed to do it _now_. And if it was going to happen, she couldn't use the same old worn-out recording of Leni's voice anymore.

She needed a live reading.

"Leni," she whispered. " _Leni._ "

She shook her slumbering sister by the shoulder. Leni mumbled incoherently and lifted her sleep mask. "...L-Lori?" she muttered. "What time is it? Are we late for school?"

Lori didn't answer. "Leni, get up. I need you to talk to me."

With a massive yawn, Leni pulled herself up. "Talk to you? About what?"

"I don't care, anything!" Lori hissed, her bloodshot eyes bulging. "Weren't you the one yammering about how great it is that we talk about everything? Now talk! Tell me about the spider again or something!"

Leni smacked her lips and tried her best to remember. "Spider?...Um...oh yeah, in the bathroom yesterday...um, okay, well, I was, like, checking my makeup or whatever...wasn't I? I think I was, anyway...and then, there was this...this spider, I guess…"

Lori's leg jiggled like crazy as she tried to focus on the sound of Leni's voice, and not the pounding of blood in her ears. But the tingles still weren't coming.

In Leni's state of semi-consciousness, her words were slurred and sleepy. The pitch of her voice was lower and foggier than when she was fully awake. None of the relaxing bounce that Lori needed…

With a groan that sounded more like a wounded bear, Lori leapt to her feet and started pacing erratically through the dark. " _UUUGH!_ Perkier than that, Leni! Get with the program, will you? This is literally the most important thing right now!"

Leni rubbed her eyes. "Wh-what are you talking about, Lori?" she moaned. "Why is this so important?"

The tightness in Lori's stomach suddenly shot to her chest. Breathing heavy, she clutched her hair with clawed fingers and snarled.

" _BECAUSE I NEED TO RELAX, OKAY?! I NEED TO RELAX BECAUSE WE'VE GOT SCHOOL IN EIGHT HOURS AND I CAN'T GET DETENTION AND I'M OUT OF SHAMPOO AND I HAVEN'T SEEN BOBBY IN LIKE THREE MONTHS AND I'M SCARED, OKAY? I'M SCARED AND EDGY AND I'M LITERALLY NOT ALLOWED TO BE, NOT IN THIS HOUSE! SO PLEASE, JUST SHUT UP AND TALK TO ME, ALL RIGHT? I NEED YOU TO...to…"_

Lori stopped in her tracks. Her hands trembled wildly.

The tingles were back. But they weren't at the top of her head.

They were in her face. And they weren't calming or soothing, they were aggressive. As if her whole face had fallen asleep from lack of blood flow.

"Lori?" Leni gulped, a hint of worry in her voice. "Lori, what's wrong?"

Lori didn't know. She slapped her cheeks, but felt nothing. In fact, the numbness was spreading, down to her chest and arms.

She dropped to her knees, shaking uncontrollably. "Wh..wh…" It was a struggle to make her lips form sounds. "What's happening to me?"

Leni gasped. " _LORI! O-M-Gosh, are you okay?! What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong!_ "

Through the ringing in her ears, Lori could hear doors in the hallway opening.

"Jeez, what's all the racket out here?" said Luan's voice. "You're wakin' everybody up, Lori!"

"Yeah, seriously, dude!" Luna grumbled. "Let me sleep so my teeth won't grind!"

Lori collapsed onto her side, staring at the underside of Leni's bed. She couldn't stop shaking. Her heart hammered against her chest like it was trying to break out. Fear gripped her brain, stronger than ever before, sealing off every thought except one:

 _I'm literally going to die._

"LORI!" A mix of voices. Her siblings were in her room.

"What's happening to her?"

"I don't know! She woke me up and started, like, freaking out!"

"Lori? C'mon, get off the floor, you can do it!"

"Don't try to move her, Lana, she could be hurt!"

" _Somebody get Mom and Dad!_ "

Lori couldn't sort out whose voice was whose. She couldn't even move. The panic had paralyzed her. Her breath came in shallow, rapid bursts. Every fear and anxiety she had ever felt had converged on her brain at once, and it was like her body just shut down from the stress…

Two more pairs of footsteps.

" _LORI!_ Good gracious, honey, what happened?"

"Luna, run downstairs and call 911, quick!"

"On it, Pops!"

A hand on Lori's shoulder, feeling like almost nothing through the numbness. Lori assumed it was her mother's by the softness of it.

"Lori, stay with us, okay? Whatever's going on, just stay with us! You're gonna be okay!"

"She's not gonna die, is she?"

"Don't say crud like that, Lucy, this isn't the time!"

"I'm being _serious_ , Lynn!"

" _I don't want Lori to die!"_

"It's okay, Lola, she's gonna be fine!"

"What's _wrong_ with her?!"

"EVERYBODY STAND BACK!"

That voice, Lori knew. There was no mistaking that lisp.

The crowd dispersed. Lori felt the presence of a small figure in front of her. Pressure on her numb arm. Then a small pinprick.

Gradually, the feeling returned to her body. Her face loosened up again. Her breathing became slower, less labored.

She squinted up at her bespectacled benefactor through her blurry vision.

"L-Lisa…"

It was all she could get out before her eyelids grew too heavy to open.


	5. Chapter 5

"...Blood pressure 120 over 80, heart rate within normal range. Vital signs seem good. I think you're gonna be okay there, kiddo. Now, you're sure you don't want to go to the hospital, just to be safe?"

Lori carefully got to her feet, the fibers of her rug scratching her arms as she pushed herself up. "No…" she said, standing steady. "No, I...I think I'm fine now, thank you."

The EMTs began to stow their gear. Lori blinked down at the floor as they bid her good night and squeezed out of her bedroom, between the trembling forms of her family members.

Resigned, Lori flopped onto her bed. She rubbed her forehead. Nothing felt out of the ordinary anymore.

"Lori, sweetie," said Rita, putting a hand to her forehead. "You're positive you're all right?"

Lori felt her face; no numbness. "Yeah, pretty sure," she mumbled. "Um...what happened?"

"You experienced an over-excessive release of adrenaline, street name, 'panic attack', that's what happened."

Lisa stepped out from between the crowd of her siblings, looking solemn. In one hand, she brandished a mostly empty syringe.

"What was in there?" Lori asked, somewhat apprehensively.

"Valium," Lisa replied simply. "I suspected I might be needing this soon when I witnessed your bizarre behavior at breakfast yesterday morning."

Lori gulped. She glanced over at Leni's bed. Leni was huddled on her mattress, her knees up near her chin, her eyes puffy and red with tears.

"You scared me, Lori," she whimpered. "You scared all of us. Why didn't you tell us you were feeling so messed up all this time?"

Lori glanced at the floor. She was too embarrassed to say it.

"Wait a minute," Lynn Sr. interjected. "Lisa, what bizarre behavior?"

Lisa sighed, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Several days ago, our eldest sibling informed me that she had experienced her first encounter with the perceptual phenomenon known as autonomous sensory meridian response. Though she did not specifically inform me of what stimuli had triggered the reaction for her, I have gleaned through observation of her behavior in the days since that she derives the strongest ASMR experience from hearing the sound of our second eldest sibling's vocal inflections."

Luna blinked. "So, in English?"

"Lori finds Leni's voice to be very relaxing," Lisa explained.

Lori gazed up at Leni. She could almost see the wheels in her head turning.

"So...so that's why you wanted me to talk to you all this time?" she asked finally. "Just because the sound of my voice made you have that autocorrect-censorship-millennial-reblog thing?"

With a sharp intake of air, Lori braced herself.

"...Yeah," she admitted. "I...I was just so stressed out this week…I kept having all these nervous thoughts, they were driving me crazy...I needed something to mellow me out. I wasn't even listening to your stories, I was just using you as a trigger. I'm _so_ sorry, Leni, it was a stupid selfish thing to do…"

But to Lori's surprise, Leni wiped her eyes and grinned.

"Lori, it wasn't selfish! If I helped you calm down, then that's awesome! That's all I wanted to do in the first place, was make you feel better! Remember?"

Then her smile dwindled away. "But I'd never seen you panic that bad before. Did my voice stop working for you or something?"

"My hypothesis is that it did," Lisa continued. "Judging by Lori's increasingly erratic and self-pitying behavior this week, it would appear that she has become over-reliant on ASMR to remedy her anxiety, to the extent of neglecting her usual forms of stress management."

Lori lowered her eyes in shame. "That's literally what's been happening," she said softly. "This whole ASMR thing seemed to calm me down better than anything else. It was like the perfect easy reset button whenever I stressed out too hard...but then I overdid it. I got hooked…"

She blinked up at her dad. "That's why I was on my phone in class. I was listening to Leni's voice on that podcast episode she did. I know it was wrong, but I was freaking out and I just needed to chill…"

Lynn Sr.'s mouth twisted into an awkward apologetic expression. "Well, gosh, honey...sorry for jumpin' down your throat without hearing your side of it, then. Ah...my bad?"

"It's fine, Dad," Lori gulped. "It doesn't matter anyway, I won't do it again. I think I broke my brain. I did the tingles so much, they stopped working for me."

"Temporary overstimulation is possible," Lisa intoned. "But Lori, I would think you of all people would be aware of the fact that chronic anxiety is not something that can be diminished with some sort of mental 'reset button'."

Lisa clambered up the bed and put a consoling hand on her big sister's shoulder. "As unpleasant as it may be to accept, anxiety is a very difficult condition to manage. It can be daunting, often times overwhelming, to contend with a mind full of fear and negative thoughts. Conquering those thoughts takes great effort and self-awareness on the part of the subject who suffers from it. And it is a constant endeavor that can be extremely exhausting to maintain."

Tears burned the edges of Lori's eyes.

"But," Lisa added gently, "I must say, Lori, in all the time I have observed your behavior within this family, you have done a very admirable job. As eldest sibling, you are in a position of authority above ten very different people, people who do not always see eye to eye, and a lesser individual would've cracked under that degree of pressure long ago. Matters are made even worse for you now that you are forced to be physically separated from your significant other, which is no doubt causing you additional emotional turmoil.

"And yet, you remain, and for that, you should be proud, Lori. You have fought your mental demons time and again, and despite facing the worst, despite the occasional misstep that comes with the territory of being _human_ , you have always endured, and you have always won. You are our beloved sister and a truly worthwhile person, Lori, and do _not_ let your anxious thoughts convince you otherwise."

Lori sniffled. The tears were flowing now, forced out by the pressure her loving smile was putting on her cheeks. "You mean that, Lisa?"

"Absolutely I do," Lisa said, smiling herself. "I myself may be adamantly averse to the exhibition of simple human emotions, but that doesn't mean I don't understand and sympathize with those who aren't."

And she leaned forward, wrapping her tiny arms around Lori's waist.

Rita and Lynn Sr. swooped in, joining the hug. So did Leni. Soon, every one of Lori's siblings was surrounding her.

"We know it's tough to be the big sister in charge, honey," Rita said. "But don't ever feel like you can't talk to us about it. We're always here to help you."

"And if you're ever feeling like you're gonna freak out or something," Lynn Sr. added, "we'll get you through it, okay? No matter what. 'Cause that's what we're here for."

Lori didn't bother trying to stem the tide of her tears. Crying was the release she'd needed. She had her family for support - her family, who loved her, and understood her, and accepted her even when she wasn't perfect. Even when she was a big bundle of nerves.

"Thanks, guys," she laughed through the sobs. "You're all literally the greatest."

* * *

The next day turned out to be much better. Even with all the usual stresses of being Lori - looking fashionable, getting the family out the door on time, navigating the fraught jungle of academic and social hurdles that is high school - it was like nothing could stop her now. She was reinvigorated, rejuvenated, and secure in the reminder that her family was always there for her.

She passed a surprise pop quiz in Biology class with a solid B. She succeeded in getting a can of cola from the school vending machine without it exploding in her face. She took advantage of a shortcut that got her to Royal Woods Elementary School five minutes early to pick up her younger siblings.

And as she relaxed on the couch that afternoon, relishing in the freedom that a Friday afternoon with no imminent homework deadlines brought, she shared her day's experiences with Leni. And Leni shared hers - and Lori listened this time, really listened to her sister's pride in having made Chaz's day with the new augmented poncho she'd sewed for him.

"Like, you should've seen his face, Lori! He was totes in love with this thing! _Oh_ , I swear I've never met a boy who makes my heart feel as fluttery as he does! ...Except for that one time when I talked to Steve Mittenthal at the county fair after I ate that corn dog, but I think that was just acid reflux."

Lori felt a hint of tingles atop her head as Leni spoke. But it was nothing compared to the wave of contentment that washed over her heart at the sight of Leni's big half-moon smile and starry eyes as the two of them gushed about their social escapades. That was more relaxing and empowering than a superficial tingly feeling: the satisfaction of spending quality time with the sweetest, kindest sister anyone could ask for.

Maybe there'd be something to worry about again soon. But Lori would face it. And she'd overcome it, just like she always did, no matter how challenging it was. Because she knew she wouldn't have to do it alone.

A buzzing sound cut through the living room.

"EEP!" Leni yelped, throwing her arms over her head. "Is there a bee in here?! I'm allergic to honey!"

Lori chuckled. "It's okay, Leni, it's just my phone."

One new text notification. Lori tapped the screen to find a message from Bobby. Her heart soared.

" _Hey babe :) 3 did you have an awesome Friday?"_

Lori smiled, a loving genuine smile, one of the first she'd experienced all week.

" _Totally, Boo-Boo Bear 333 This has literally been the best day ever!"_

 **THE END**


End file.
